As I Have Suffered
by DoomDib777
Summary: Now a high skool reject, Dib has had enough with his life, and decides to prove his worth to the world. FINISHED!
1. Worthless

Greetings horrible fools! I is Little Loser, writing my first fic….**EVER**! I am amazing, yes? I wrote a songfic on the JTHM, but decided to try Invader Zim fiction as well (because this show ROX). I know this story sucks. So, there is no need to yell at me in reviews. 

Today has actually been a good day. I laughed. It made up for a crappy week. I have no friends. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Dedication: I dedicate this piece of shit to my "friends," who call me stuck up behind my back and ditch me. I especially want to thank my "friend," Kurbus, who, after years of being a Zim fan, decided to switch to more "normal" shows. Hear that, Kurbus? You freak. Face the wrath of ME! You bastard. You see how happy I am? Heh…it makes a good writing tool.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just a pathetic wannabe author who has no life as of now. On to the story. Please don't kill me.

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As I Have Suffered

Dib felt something crash against the side of his face, causing his glasses to fall off onto the ground. He tumbled along with the force of the blow. Unfortunately, he landed on top of his glasses. They shattered with a sickening crunch.

"Oh shit," Dib muttered, examining the damage of his glasses. 

"Ooh," the crowd chimed. They laughed at his pain. Not one even attempted to help him.

Dib looked up to see a green blur standing over him, holding a ball in his gloved hand. "Pathetic human! You cannot withstand the power of Zim's amazingness!" He laughed; a deep, echoing laugh that sent chills up Dib's spine. He watched as the green blur that was his enemy walk away. 

He stood up, brushing off the dirt and broken glass from his trench coat. "Whoever said High Skool was fun needs to be hanged," Dib murmured bitterly, pulling a spare pair of glasses from his backpack. He had barely managed to survive his freshman year, and being a sophomore wasn't any better. It was ironic how everybody wanted to be "adult" and start getting into relationships. Yet, no matter how "adult" they were, they still acted like children. 

"Dad's going to kill me for breaking another pair of glasses."

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The bus: a horrible yellow block of scrap metal used to carry screaming children to their homes. Unfortunately, Dib had to ride the bus home. 

"Why did they have to build the High Skool so fucking far from my house," he muttered to nobody in particular. The day was definitely not going well…but did it ever?

He stepped on the bus. Gaz wasn't going to be riding today. She stayed home from skool today, claiming she didn't feel well. Dib had his suspicions that she was just lying to get out of skool. Who could blame her, though? This place was a hellhole. 

"Quick, sit here so Dib won't sit next to me!" someone shouted from the back of the bus. Everyone erupted in cackles, making the vehicle sound like a zoo. More insults followed.

"What a fag!"

"Seen any aliens lately?"

Dib ignored them. They weren't worth his time. Once his captured Zim, then _he_ would be laughing at _them_. Then the question arose: Would he ever catch Zim? He quickly pushed it out of his mind. If he continued to think like that, then he would never be able to save the world.

"Hey, kid! Siddown!" The bus driver, a bulging man with a thousand chins, bellowed from his position at the front. 

Dib decided not to argue, and found and empty seat. He already had enough enemies in life, and it would be pointless to gain another one.

A spitball flew through the air, landing on the back of Dib's head with a sick 'splat.' He pulled it off his head, disgusted at their ignorance. The entire bus began to laugh at him. The driver didn't so much as tell them to shut up.

'No one's on my side,' Dib thought helplessly. 'How am I supposed to save the world from aliens, when no one will help me?' But his question went unanswered, for the bus came to a halt at Dib's stop.

"One of these days I'll show them all," he mumbled, taking one last look at the bus as it thundered down the street, spewing exhaust into the polluted sky. 

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A/N: I can already tell this story sucks. But yet I still post it? WHY? Because I wish to make you suffer, as I have suffered (heh, I had to include the title in there, didn't I?).


	2. Scars

I is back again! Whoo! Yay me! I decided to write chapter 2 today. Myep. Thank you nice reviewer peoples for not dying when reading this. I decided to make this chapter with a sort of insight to Dib's issues. Why? I dunno. I got the new Linkin Park cd. It provides EXTRA angry motivation. I don't think I need a disclaimer in this chapter, since I already mentioned it in the first chapter. So, from now on, let it be known that I own nothing but…no wait…I don't own that either. Hmm…let's just say I own this muffin. *holds up a muffin*

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Dib entered through the door to his house and was greeted by silence. Odd, since when Gaz stayed home because she was "sick," she would often listen to her music loudly, or watch TV downstairs. But there was nothing. Not even the blips of her Gameslave. Only the arcane stillness. 

__

"Gaz! I'm home!" Dib announced, trying to search for some sign of life. He waited downstairs, hoping for a response.

"Whatever," an annoyed voice floated downstairs. Good. That meant Gaz was okay. 

'She was probably just sleeping," Dib thought in relief.

Finally able to enjoy his time away from skool, Dib trudged upstairs carrying his backpack. Lucky for him, there was only math homework. He was beginning to think that today was going to be okay after all. 

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"Find the area of the regular hexagon," Dib mumbled, surveying his math problem. It was a review from last year's Geometry class. "Ok…it gives me the length of the apothem, and I know the central angle in 60° …soooo, I use cosine to find the length of one triangle in the hexagon…or was it sine?" His mind blanked out, replaced by memories of the day's events. His eyes darted to the crushed remains of his glasses that broke at PE. 

Dib felt a headache forming in the back of his head. It was becoming obvious that thinking clearly wasn't going to be easy today. What he needed was a distraction from his memories. 

"Music! I need music!" Dib blurted. It was a simple answer. Gaz always listened to music when she wasn't playing her Gameslave. He once asked her why, and she simply replied that it was another way for her to tune out people like him. 

The problem was that Dib owned no music. No cds. No tapes. Nothing. He had no time for such frivolous things. His mission was to save the world from aliens and other such paranormal phenomena. Music was not part of the music. 

_Gaz_

Surely she had enough cds. Why wouldn't she lend him one? So, it was settled then. He would go ask to borrow one of her cds, so he could finish his homework and get on with his mundane life. 

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"Gaz?" Dib noticed that her bedroom door was opened a small crack. He slowly pushed it open, revealing the deep purple walls that lie in the confines of her room. Light flooded the area, illuminating Gaz, sitting on her violet bed. Her back was turned to Dib.

Her back arched in a cat-like reflex to the other presence in her room. She let out a half growl, half hiss. "Didn't I tell you to knock when you want to come in my room?"

Dib backed away slightly, "I-I'm sorry. Your door was open and-" then he noticed the way Gaz was turned away from him. She was hunched over, almost as if she was hiding something. "Gaz? Are you okay?"

There was a pause. Dib inched closer into her room. "I'm fine. Why do you care? Go away."

There was definitely something wrong. Dib could sense something in her voice. It almost sounded like…fear. He moved nearer to his sister, until he was directly behind her. "Gaz…what are you hiding?"

"Nothing, you moron. Now GO AWA-" but she didn't finish her sentence. Dib had spun her around, so that she faced him.

What he saw would haunt him forever. Gaz was clutching a knife in her hand. Her sleeves had been rolled up, unveiling her pale flesh. On her wrists were small indentations where the knife had begun to pierce her flesh.

Dib knew that if he hadn't walked in at that moment, Gaz would be lying in a crimson puddle, dead.

"Why, Gaz?" he choked out. This was his sister. The one who had been so fearless and strong all her life. Suddenly, without warning, she was about to quit life.

She didn't say anything, but instead dropped the knife to the floor. Dib picked it up. "Just go," she managed to whisper. He was hesitant a first, frightened that she would attempt suicide again. Finally, he decided that she just needed time to sort out her thoughts. So, he slowly retreated from her room.

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Dib sat on his rooftop, looking at the city lights in the distance, and the glimmering stars above. Yet, for once in his life, those stars no longer captured the mesmerizing wonder they once held for him. They were just illusions of beauty. Although they appeared to be sparkling orbs that held the world's dreams, in reality, they were nothing but broken promises.

A cold wind wrapped its fingers around Dib's body, beckoning him to join the night's ethereal splendor. He wished that he could escape into the night, where the rest of the world didn't exist. He could remain cloaked in darkness forever, never having to deal with the torment of mankind.

But in this world, everyone is always looking for an escape. No one is truly happy with his or her lives. Yet, no one does anything to fix it. Dib didn't want to be another lost person, wishing for another life, and living in misery. There was too much in his life to leave behind. He had a world to save. Once that was done, he could die happy. 

That's when he remembered the gun kept in the closet.

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Heh. I like the suspense. It angers people. I thought this chapter would be shorter. Oh well. Dib was actually speaking REAL math language. Isn't it scary, since I HATE math? It is evil. My math teacher is a pig farmer/Satan. I betcha you didn't know that.


	3. Bitter End

Greetings all! I have returned, with the last chapter. Yes, it has to end already. So sad, yes? But I haven't had any ideas in my head that I could drag on endlessly. Myep. Sorry that the chapter came kinda late. I am lazy. If it weren't for your nice reviews, I never would have finished this. Heh. Enough talk, ONTO THE STORY!

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I missed the bus today. It had to be today, of all days, that the fucking bus driver shows up early. Coincidentally, this happened to be the same day my alarm failed to go off. So, I rushed outside, my hair falling in my eyes, to catch a glimpse of a yellow hunk of scrap metal clattering down the street. Gaz was waving a taunting 'goodbye' at me from the backseat of that damn vehicle. 

Uttering a string of curses, I walked to skool. Just great. I'd already been late before. My math teacher said if I was late once more, I would have a week's Detention. What fun! It's always been a dream of mine to stay after skool _longer_ to listen to some teacher bellow out why we are horrible people. 

Finally, the skool came into view. I glanced at my watch. _If I run fast enough, I might make it just in time to NOT be late._ So, I head into a full sprint, through the doors and down the hall. Suddenly, one foot trips over something, and I'm sent sprawling onto the floor. I immediately checked my glasses. Just scratched. So, I decided to see what the hell I stumbled over. What do I see? A leg, extended out into the hallway. Not just any leg. It happened to belong to none other than

"Zim," I spoke my enemy's name with as much hate as my voice would allow.

"Pathetic hyu-man! You kneel before the Almighty Foot of ZIM!" He announced to the empty corridor. 

I was about to retort a nasty comeback, when the late bell rang. _Fuck._ All of a sudden, I remembered what I spent all night dwelling upon.

__

The gun.

I slowly withdrew it from my backpack, making its presence known to Zim. I held it up to the light, letting the florescent glow reflect off its metallic surface. This was my moment. I was going to savor it. Zim did nothing. He didn't flinch. Instead, he cocked a non-existent eyebrow at me.

"What is that? Some primitive Earthen toy?" I aimed the weapon for a nearby wall, and fired. Zim let out an alarmed yelp. 

"No Zim," I replied coolly, "It's a gun. We humans use it for defense."

Zim looked back at the gaping hole, now smoldering, in the wall. I saw the fear flash in his eyes. "Well, you missed."

That earned a smirk from me. "No Zim. I was aiming for the wall. This time, I'm going to aim for you head."

By now, the gunshot had attracted students from their classrooms. They saw the gun, held in my power. Terror struck them, and they bolted for the nearest exits. 

That's when all Hell broke loose. 

Zim melted into the fleeing crowd, and I dove from my sight. I pushed my way through the mob. They bolted from my path without delay. But I didn't care about them. Humans were what I was trying to save. It was the alien I was after.

"Ziiiim," I called out in a singsong voice, waving the gun around. "Oh, Ziiiiiim! Where are you? I just want to blow I cavernous hole in your ugly green head!"

I saw a rapid shade of emerald, followed by a voice. "My head is NOT ugly, stink creature." _Thank you, Zim's gargantuan ego!_ I knew where the voice was coming from: the cafeteria.

The students all looked at me with unease as I entered the cafeteria. They ducked under tables to try and hide from me. I knew Zim was among those people. "If you bring me a short green kid, I'll spare your lives." Of course, I wouldn't have killed them in the first place, but they didn't know that. 

I heard hushed whispers coming from the tables, followed by sounds of a struggle. Shortly after, Zim came tumbling out from under a table. "Pathetic humans!" he yelled, temporarily oblivious to the fact that I was standing in the room. "You weren't supposed to reveal the amazing ZIM from his hiding!"

Then, he looked up, and saw me, still holding the weapon that would bring his demise. There was nowhere for him to run. I advanced on him, driving him back to the far wall of the cafeteria. 

_Nowhere to run, Zim._

"Pitiable stink-creature!" he scowled, trying his best to sound unaffected by my presence. "I am ZIM! And you cannot defeat me!"

A smile crept into my features. I held the gun out, aiming right between my enemy's eyes. "Watch me." Two short, but powerful words. "It's too bad you had to die this way. Kinda seems undeserving." Zim flinched. I laughed. "Wait. You **do** deserve this." 

With those words, I fired the gun. Zim hurtled into the wall, and slumped down to the ground. His head drooped forward, causing his wig to slide off, thus revealing his antennae. The force of the blow also partly knocked off a contact, so that it dangled lifelessly below a ruby eye. Green blood dribbled from the wound, pooling from the floor. The crowd of onlookers gasped. They finally saw the truth: Zim WAS an alien.

I stood proudly over my kill, like the way a hunter does over their dead prey. I had won, and it felt great. Seeing the blood…it made me feel alive. That's when I realized it.

_I just murdered someone, and enjoyed it._

It didn't matter that it was my enemy that I killed. I was a murderer. I had **cherished** every moment of it! The gun quivered in my grasp. I was trying to refrain from killing every person in the room who had hurt me before. _Something had snapped, I just know it!_ After years of mockery, and torment, I had finally lost my mind. It just wasn't like me to bring a gun to skool, just to get revenge. I was better than that. Or, I **used** to be better than that. All I knew was that I could never be the same.

_It had to end._

I pressed the gun to my head. It's ironic, how just yesterday I was stopping Gaz from killing herself, yet today I was about to do EXACTLY what I had tried to prevent. But this was the only way out. I didn't want to be in some straight jacket, living in padded walls. I couldn't do that.

"Goodbye Gaz," I whispered. I knew very well that Gaz was not in the cafeteria, but it would be wrong to leave her behind without saying goodbye. Even though I didn't really show it, I cared about her.

So, with one last shuddering breath, I pulled the trigger.

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That's all folks! The end. You can come out of hiding now. Yep. I should apologize for any spelling errors or OOC-ness during this story. Meh. It was nice reading reviews from people. SO REVIEW! REVIEW, I SAY! Just no flames. I have enough issues already. 


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